I don’t know how, but somehow I have managed to go 32 years without ever having to have “the talk” with a guy. You know, the conversation where you talk about whether you’re seeing other people and where things are going.
When you’re young things are easy. Guy asks question: “Will you be my girlfriend?” Girl says “Yes.” Upon which you are thrust into an exclusive relationship, and all before you’ve ever kissed or even held hands with the guy! At least, that’s how it was with my first boyfriend.
Between my first love and my last love (a.k.a. my ex-husband) I only had two boyfriends, and with both of them I knew in advance they weren’t seeing anyone else. So when we found ourselves in a relationship it was mutually understood that we were NOT seeing other people and that we were, in fact, boyfriend and girlfriend. No conversation needed.
My ex-husband and I fell in love really quickly. Two months after meeting we were living together, and five months after meeting we were married. With things moving so fast, there wasn’t even time to discuss whether we were seeing other people!
In the three years since my husband and I separated I have done a fair amount of casual dating. I was definitely “on the rebound” and would keep guys at a distance so I wouldn’t get emotionally invested. There was only one exception, early last year – and even with him, I knew from the beginning that he wasn’t seeing anyone else!
Tonight I will be having “the talk” with a guy I’ve been dating for almost three months. I’ve been taking it slowly because above all else I don’t want to rush into anything and make the same mistakes I made with my ex-husband. But now, tonight, I think it’s time. I don’t know how it will go, but I’m excited to just be having the conversation.