I have a date tonight…I think.

In the week or two after things ended with Manchild, I was going wild on OkCupid. The first thing I did was update my profile to make sure it didn’t imply that I wasn’t looking for anything serious. Next, I updated my pictures. I’m thinner and that needed to be reflected! Did you know there are actually companies that specifically focus on online dating profile photos? I didn’t. Anyway, according to the OkCupid blog, I now have the perfect mix of profile pics for a woman my age: smiling face shot, flirting into the camera with some cleavage, and a full body shot so it doesn’t seem like I’m trying to hide my body.

I started messaging guys first, which is something I never did before, and if a guy “wanted to meet” I would say “Let’s meet!” instead of ignoring the notification until it went away. At one point I was talking to like 5 or 6 guys! But after a few days of talking to them, all of the conversations inevitably led to the same place: them asking me if I wanted to meet up for a drink.

When I had started talking to these guys I had all these grandiose dating plans in my head. I was going to meet up with all of them, maybe go out with a different guy every night for a week, and then write all about it. Who knew where it would lead? But when push came to shove and it was time to put my money where my mouth was, I let my nerves get the better of me. So it was about a week before I responded to any of them. Except for one…

The day I uploaded my new profile pictures I got the following message: “Rory, ain’t enough room on this site for both of us, scram.” It was from a guy I went to high school with! Back then we were friendly, but not friends. At some point in the past few years we became Facebook friends, but we haven’t actually had a conversation since that happened.

We chatted through OkCupid for a few days. Then he, too, suggested meeting up. This was right around the same time as the other guys were asking me to meet up, and I had that same gut reaction to withdraw. But I couldn’t blow him off like I did the others, since this is someone I “know.” So I agreed to meet. After over a week of going back and forth, we made plans for tonight.

So why do I “think” I have a date tonight? Well, I’ve reread our conversations a few times, and I noticed that he calls me “friend” and synonyms thereof on multiple occasions! I know I have a tendency to read too deeply into things, but at the moment I’m not entirely sure whether him and I are going on a date or if we’re just old high school friends meeting up after not seeing each other in a long time.

The uncertainty is almost better for me, I think, since I’m not feeling any of the pre-date nerves I would normally get. But it’s only noon. I’ve got plenty of time for that nausea to kick it.

As far as the other guys are concerned, last Friday night when I got drunk and was “drunk-Facebook-status updating,” I decided it would also be a good idea to message all the guys who I had been conversing with on OkCupid. I sent them all the same message: “Lol sorry I punked out, I got too nervous to meet!” They all more or less responded with the same message: “Don’t worry, relax, it’s okay, come on, let’s meet!” I haven’t replied to any of them. Yet. Let’s see how tonight goes.


About notchangingmyname

I'm a thirty-something, about-to-be-divorced, former blogger trying to navigate single life.
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3 Responses to I have a date tonight…I think.

  1. MayDay says:

    Lol, date or no date, have fun! Even if it is just catching up with a high school friend, it could be a good time.

  2. Sometimes I have been single and lonely and may have had a slightly supressed self-esteem sysytem. Once or thrice I wound up on what turned out to be dates, that honest intentions, I had thought to be friendly social outings. There is a differenece in the way the illumination of a room changes when this type of lightbulb comes on, distinct from that of say the mug cake variety.

    Rule of thumb, with guys it’s always a date. If it’s an “old friend” and you’re not sure just ask. If he is just a friend he will be fine with it, if he’s not gay consider it a date. With your looks don’t think you need to worry about the guy wishing he were not on a suddenly very awkward “social outing”. Unless you have a way scarier off-line presence than in-online.


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