When good dates go bad

A very wise man once said: “Blame it on the a a a a a a alcohol.”

Sigh.

Let’s rewind back to a few weeks ago, when I was going wild on OkCupid and talking to half a dozen guys. One of them was Jay. He had a bunch of profile pictures up, and was INCREDIBLY good looking. I’m talking jaw-droppingly, “damnnnnnnnn he’s fine” good looking. (Which immediately led me to believe he must be an asshole.) After a few days of checking out each others profiles, he messaged me hello. We chitchatted for a few days, but it didn’t go anywhere. For one thing, when I showed Jay’s profile to my friends, they pointed out that he had a drink in his hand in 99% of his pictures and, even worse, that he gets his eyebrows done. Clearly a Metro, possibly a Jersey Shore douche bag, definitely not my type. I ended up meeting E and the Rocker instead, which put me off of online dating for a little bit.

Fast forward to last Saturday, when I went on my amazing non-date with B. That led me back to OkCupid, because I would like to find a connection with a guy and online dating seems to be the easiest way to do it. I looked at Jay’s profile again, which led him to message me “Hey stranger. How you been?” After a little bit of chitchat we made plans to hang out on this coming Tuesday. At that point we switched from OkCupid messaging to texting.

That was on Thursday. He texted me on Thursday night, just some random conversation that didn’t really have a point. Normally I would be annoyed with that, but I thought that it might be a good thing to build up some type of connection beforehand, so we’d have more things to talk about when we finally met. So I engaged. On Friday morning he texted me, and over the course of our conversation we discovered that we had the same plans that night: happy hour with coworkers in the city. We agreed to maybe meet up after happy hour.

Jay: Maybe we can meet up for drinks tonight. I’m free after 9.
Me:  I’m down, if I’m still out at that point, and I’m not a drunken mess. 😉

Sigh…why didn’t I remember those wise words later that night?

Yesterday was a coworker’s last day with the company, so a bunch of us went out for drinks after work. We did a little barhopping before ending up at this place Katwalk. Jay texted around 9:30 asking where I was, and the next thing I knew he was in a cab on his way to meet me! By the time he got there I was on my fourth drink of the night and hadn’t eaten since 5:30, when I had some cottage cheese and an orange. I want to say I was buzzed, but really, I was drunk. Not a good look for me. But it did make me much less nervous. I ended up having another drink with him, and then at one point my friend came over and we ended up doing a shot with her.

Jay was just as cute in person as he was in his pictures, and I was extremely attracted to him. That alone made it a successful “date,” because it showed me that it is indeed possible for me to feel that initial spark with someone I don’t know, and there’s no reason for me to settle for something less. If the attraction isn’t there from the beginning then it isn’t going to happen. So, no more of me saying “I can’t tell if I like him, but I’ll give it another try.”

Our conversation was really good. Flirty. But at the same time, I would think to myself, this guy is so hot, there’s no way he could be interested in me! At one point we finally kissed. It was wayyyy better than my kiss with E. What a difference attraction makes! Lol.

He suggested we go somewhere else. In my drunken haze, I agreed, and in their drunken hazes, my friends didn’t even question me going off with this stranger. Friendship Fail! Haha. I don’t even know where we were heading. He mentioned going back to my place or his, but I said no. We left the bar around 1. It was drizzling.

It was at that point that things kind of went downhill. Trying to catch a cab in NYC is soooooo annoying! We were out there for like 20 minutes. I think that I was drunk walking down the block while he was trying to catch a cab, which made him follow me, which resulted in us missing out on all the cabs that were stopping on the corner. He was getting very frustrated. I tried to make out with him again, but after like 10 seconds he was like “No, I’m not doing this here, I just want to catch a cab.” Which annoyed me, so I was like “Forget it, there are no cabs, I’m about to hop on the train.” In a really bitchy tone. So he said “Fine.” We walked to a nearby train. He was walking kind of ahead of me, which I didn’t like, then he would stop, turn around, wait for me, then walk ahead again. I can’t remember what he said, but my reply was “No, it’s all good, I’m just taking this as an opportunity to see the real you, to see how you handle shit.” Being totally melodramatic. I don’t remember how we said goodbye at the train station, but when we were standing on opposite platforms waiting for our separate trains he wouldn’t even make eye contact with me! Like he was purposely not looking at me. It was weird. I sent him a text – “Seriously??” – but of course there’s no signal in the subway so he probably didn’t get it until like an hour later and had no idea what it meant at that point.

I got home around 2:30. As soon as I got home I puked, thus breaking my New Years resolution of not throwing up from too much drinking. Oh well. I’m kind of happy that things turned out as they did with Jay, because if I had gotten in cab with him it would have been a disaster. I probably wouldn’t have needed much convincing to go back to his place, then I would have puked at his place, and then I would have had to do the walk of shame today all the way from BROOKLYN.

When I woke up today and thought about what had happened I felt like maybe I needed to apologize. But I wasn’t sure. I tried to look at it from his perspective and I could see how I might have been acting like a drunken, annoying fool. I also tried to think of what he did specifically that pissed me off, but I couldn’t. What, he didn’t want to make out on the street in the rain? I didn’t want to spend all day wondering whether he was ever going to text me again, so this morning I sent him the following:

Heyyy last night started off great but then took a bad turn, and I can’t remember why! (Blame it on the alcohol.) Do over?

It was two hours before I got a reply, but finally he did respond:

You owe me breakfast and a make out session. 🙂

We’ve been chatting on and off all day, and everything seems fine. So maybe the conflict only occurred in my head. Or, maybe he wouldn’t have texted if I hadn’t first. I’ll ask him next time I see him. The moral of the story? Don’t get white-girl wasted on the first date!

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About notchangingmyname

I'm a thirty-something, about-to-be-divorced, former blogger trying to navigate single life.
This entry was posted in Blog, Dating, Personal, Relationships and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to When good dates go bad

  1. Jueseppi B. says:

    I am single, and not too unhappy with that fact, but I am very happy, glad, thrilled, gloriously satisfied that I am NOT in the “dating game”. Good luck.

  2. Tony Bird says:

    That’s why I always wait a while to tell “this one time when I was drunk” stories. If the details are hazy, someone else can fill me in later. From my side, it usually goes like this: “I did what? Really? I don’t remember that very well. Oh, right. Man, drunk Tony is awesome!” Of course, there are also those times when it’s not so funny and my wife wants to kill me for embarrassing her.

  3. MayDay says:

    Hhahahaa, this might turn into a great “how we met” story?? At least he’s game for another go!

  4. could have been worse! He still liked you. In the movies, guys usually get over the drunk thing and fall in love anyway, don’t they?

  5. Hi there, I’ve nominated you for the Versatile Blogger Award, hope you don’t mind – because your blog makes me laugh and think about things a bit! Happy blogging – and if you want to accept the award, please go to http://butimbeautiful.wordpress.com/2012/04/02/and-a-big-thank-you-to-nomadic-angel/ for the Rules, the picture and all that jazz.

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