It’s crazy what a difference a few days makes. On Sunday I was feeling positive about H. Now I want nothing to do with him.
On Sunday night, almost immediately after I wrote that blog post, H texted me.
H: How was your night?
Yes! My “plan” worked! I’m back on his radar, and he’s expressing an interest beyond hooking up!
We texted for about half an hour, talking about our day and how we had spent our weekends. Then he said:
H: I was hot earlier. Too bad you were far. 😉
H: If you know what I mean.
If I know what he means? I’m not an idiot, of course I know what he means. Damn, why’d he have to take it there? Sigh…oh well, I guess I better put him back in the hook up category.
Me: You should have waited.
H: Trust me I was tempted. But there were things I had to do before 5.
So wait, not only is he only looking for a hook up, but he was going to get to my house at 4 and leave at 5?! WTF!
Me: Too bad.
H: I know. You should visit me.
H (literally 3 minutes later): Is that a no?
I told him I had been beating egg whites for meringue cookies. We talked about the cookies a bit, and the conversation ended with me telling him I’d email him the recipe the next day.
Why do I have such poor instincts? In hindsight I realize that I should have let it die there. But for some reason – boredom, horniness – I decided to email him the cookie recipe. After saying “thank you” and “how’s your day?”, he repeated that I should come visit him. I told him I couldn’t, that he should come visit me. He said he couldn’t, and I asked him why not?
I couldn’t believe his response:
H: I have some things to do and I spent a lot of money this weekend and to get to you is expensive.
I was SOOO turned off by this. For him to get to my house and then back home costs about $20 plus gas. I’m not worth that? Way to make me feel special. Even if he’s broke, there was NO NEED to tell me that – he could have just stopped at “I have some things to do.” And what, he doesn’t want to spend the money to come see me, but he has no problem with me spending my money to go to him? Cheap bastard! And I’m sorry, but by the time you’re 32 you need to have your shit at least somewhat together, and if he can’t even afford $20 to come see me then I do NOT need to be wasting my time with him. I can see it now: he comes over, but then we can’t go out or go to the movies because he spent all his money on gas and tolls! Boy please…you can put that where? Back there. (I recommend you watch the whole clip, but if you don’t want to, skip ahead to 3:40.)
Anyway. The conversation went on a little bit after that but eventually trailed into nothing. I had no intention of ever speaking to him again.
But that’s not the end of the story.
On Tuesday night I went to a work party, and I looked fabulous in a few pictures that were posted to Facebook. He “liked” one of them, so on Wednesday I had a feeling I’d be hearing from him. And I was right.
Again, I shouldn’t have responded. I don’t know why I did. Time for some deep self examination, I think.
Me (3 hours later): Hey how’s it going?
Me: Not much…tired as hell…you?
H: What were you up to? I’m here watching tv. 🙂
Me: Late night, early morning AND I forced myself to go to the gym after work today. Ready to pass out.
H: Nice. You have Skype?
When he asked me if I had Skype I KNEW exactly where the conversation was heading. But I was unable to stop it.
H: You should. 😉 It can be fun. It’s free too. 😉
YOU CHEAP BASTARD! Hahaha.
Me: I mean, I signed up for it, but I don’t have video capability on my phone or laptop.
H: Oh Dammm..I wanted to make up for not going over there 😉
Really? And how, exactly, were you going to do that? By jerking off on Skype while I watched? Yeah, that would REALLY make it up to me.
Me: Oh lord. I can only imagine what that would entail.
H: Send me some recognition. 🙂
Me: I don’t know what that means
Obviously I knew he wanted me to send him some pics, even though I still don’t know what the hell “recognition” means.
H: You’re a smart woman. 😉 Hmmm lol
H (10 minutes later): Nothing?
Me: Haha I really don’t know what you meant.
H: I wanna see what I want 😉
Me: You’ve already seen it.
H: Well I don’t know when I’m gonna see it again. I’m a little horny also 😉
H: Maybe I can help
I looked at my phone and it says “image downloading.” Of course I knew what was coming: it was a picture of his dick. To be fair, it was an impressive picture. But the whole thing was so, I don’t know, abrupt, out of the blue, without any regard for whether I had any interest whatsoever in seeing it, that all I could think about was ending the conversation…and writing this blog post!
Me: Lol you’re too much. No I’m not sending you any pics! But thanks for the one you just sent, that will keep me entertained later.
Not just me, but also my readers! Haha.
H: Damn I can’t get one?
H: You’re playing that game huh
Me: I don’t play games.
H: So why not? You want me to go over there?
Um, no I don’t, not anymore!
Me: I’m just not into the pic thing. For myself.
H: Why not? You hot.
Me: And, I’M not horny right now! Just tired.
Me: Thank you.
H: Is it your conscience?
Me: No. Maybe. I don’t know!
Just so you know, readers, it isn’t my “conscience.” I’m not opposed to sexting or to sending naughty pictures. Just not with him.
H: Try it. Get out of your comfort zone.
Me: Haha calm down, it’s not gonna happen :-p
H: :-p I’m calm.
H: So what are your plans for the next few days?
Me: Not positive, I think dinner on Friday, going out on Saturday. You?
H: Nothing much as of yet. You should come down here.
I never responded. I’m not sure why I engaged him in that conversation at all. At any point I could have just not responded, and that would have been the end of it. But it’s like I have this weird need to keep things cool and not let things end on bad terms. So I just smile and nod and hope it will be over soon, and maybe even still hope that it can still work out positively. It never does though.
In any case, I am definitely done with H.