I have completely gone off the rails as far as my diet is concerned. I’m up EIGHT pounds since I finished taking the drops. (I was 134 when I finished, so that means I weigh…well, you do the math. I don’t even want to type the current weight.) I’ve been eating so much stuff that I’m not supposed to, and it has finally caught up to me. It was such a slow weight gain – up a pound, down a half – that despite the fact that I weigh myself every morning, it still took a while to realize it was happening. Or maybe I was in denial.
At my lowest point in April I was down to 130.8. I knew that once I went off the maintenance phase I would gain a few pounds back, and I was okay with that. I went back up to 134 pretty quickly. But then I kept on gaining. At first I was blaming it on getting my period soon and on the fact that I hadn’t…pooped in awhile. But once those things happened I was still up to 138. Then 139. When I hit the 140 mark last week I said enough was enough, and I decided that I would go back on the diet hardcore after Memorial Day. I considered whether I should start on the drops again, but decided against it. The drops were useful in helping me lose the weight, but I need to be able to keep it off on my own.
So for however long it takes me to get back down to 133, I will be following the maintenance phase of the HCG diet plan. I’m extremely disappointed with myself for my lack of discipline. I don’t know why I allowed myself to let it get to this point. I was doing so good and was feeling great about myself for actually following through with something I had set out to do. Now when I look in the mirror all I see is fat, and it makes me feel like shit. I’m pretty sure that if I’m diligent I can be back down to 133 in less than 2 weeks. Hopefully this “relapse” will just be remembered as a minor bump in the road.