The Comedian

Two Wednesdays ago (which, if you’re keeping track, was 3 days after my date with Joey), I did something that was completely out of character. That night I went to a comedy show with my cousin, and I thought that the opening guy – you know, the one who tells some jokes and introduces the other comedians – was really cute. He reminded me of the guy I met in New Orleans last year. As soon as I got home I looked him up on Twitter. Found him, followed him. The next morning, while I was at work, I was feeling brave and so I decided to send him a tweet.

Me: Saw you @CarolinesonBway last night. You were awesome. Super cute. Great show!

When I checked my Twitter two hours later, he had responded and had also started following me.

Him: Thank you! I took a look at your blog. Really enjoyed it. (My blog is linked on my Twitter profile.)

At this point I decided to direct message him.

Me: Thanks! Had a blast at the show. I live in NYC, so let me know when you have more shows in the area. 🙂

Him: I live in NY as well, so I perform in the city regularly. You’re welcome at a show anytime. Aside from your blog, what do you do for work?

Me: I’m a —. Here’s my number: xxx-xxx-xxxx. Text me or hit me up on Twitter if you have an upcoming show.

I must admit that my last message was guided written by my friend Tiffany. I asked her, “But I already told him to let me know when he has a show, so why am I repeating myself?” Her answer? “It doesn’t matter what you say, the point is you’re giving him your number. Do you want to keep talking to him on Twitter or do you want to move things along to the next level?” Good point. I was a little apprehensive about being so “let’s get down to business” about it, but like I said, I was feeling brave, so I sent it.

Within 15 minutes he sent me the following text:

Him: Am I only allowed to text when I have a show?

Success! I was actually really surprised that he had responded like this.  I had hoped he would text me, of course, but I didn’t expect it. And definitely not so quickly! (Tiffany: “Really? You really didn’t expect it? What did you think would happen?”)

Me: Haha. You can text me whenever.
Him: I feel honored. I’m a fan of women who write.
Me: Well, I’m a fan of guys who tell jokes, so we’re even.

We went back and forth for a little bit, about my blog, and his comedy, etc., and then he suggested that we meet up for a drink, “so you can write about it and I can joke about it.” I agreed, he asked when I was free, and then we made plans to meet up for drinks on Saturday.


I was pleased with myself on many levels. Not only was this a great follow up to “The Move” (just wayyy more ballsy), this would be my first date where I actually owned my identity as a “blogger.” This was a complete 180 from where my thoughts were just days earlier after Joey had found my blog, but it seemed to be something of a natural progression.

On Saturday night I drove into the city to meet him. We were meeting at a bar in Union Square at 8, but by the time I parked and walked over there it was closer to 8:30. He was late too, though, so he didn’t end up waiting too long. We ended up meeting on the corner.

This was my first time seeing him up close. He wasn’t exactly what I expected (he was more “white boy” than I thought he would be lol), but I still thought he was cute. The first thing he said when he saw me (after hello, etc.) was “So you’re the divorcee blogger.”

I really didn’t know how to feel about that. “Divorcee,” I mean. Especially since I’m not even divorced yet! When I hear that word it makes me think of a woman in the 1960s wearing a silk robe and smoking a cigarette, who all the married women in the neighborhood are scared of because they think she’ll sleep with their husbands.  Something like this:

FYI: he bought the first round, I bought the second, and he bought the third. At some point early on we discussed the fact that I had driven in and therefore would have to stop drinking about a half hour before I drove home, just to be safe.

To sum the date up: He was really funny. Obviously. That’s his job! It was almost weird in that I couldn’t tell if he was being honest or doing schtick (for example, does his brother really have “fuck me” tattooed above his dick?). I was having a good time and I thought things were going pretty well. Which is why I was completely taken aback when he said, “Okay, why don’t we finish up our drinks and then chill for a half hour so you can sober up, before we call it a night.” It was only 10 pm!

(And by the way, I know that “sober up” implies that I was drunk, but I wasn’t, not really. I had a nice buzz going, but I wasn’t sloppy or anything.)

About a half hour later he walked me to my car, we hugged goodbye, and then we parted ways. He DID tell me to text him when I got home so he’d know I was okay, which I always appreciate. I texted him, we went back and forth a little, and that was it. We never spoke again. Womp womp.

This was the first date I’ve ever gone on where I was attracted to the guy but he wasn’t into me, and I have to say: it sucks! Not that anything would have come from it, since it turned out he was only 27, but I wouldn’t have minded a little making out! Sigh…

On reflection, though, I can at least appreciate the way it was handled: he ended the date in a way that let me know he wasn’t interested, and he didn’t engage me in further conversation afterwards. I definitely need to learn from that, since I’m really bad when it comes to letting a guy know that I’m not interested.

Even though there was no “happy ending” (not in ANY sense of the phrase!), I’m still glad that was able to break out of my shell and take some initiative in meeting a guy. No regrets.


Sidenote: Have you seen The Wedding Singer? It’s one of my favorite movies. This post reminded me of the scene where Adam Sandler is telling Drew Barrymore about a song that he wrote and he says: “Uh, it’s just that I wrote half of it when I was with Linda and I wrote the other half after we broke up. So it’s a little uneven, you know.” Watch it HERE. I wrote the first half of this post like 5 minutes after the Comedian and I had agreed to meet, when I was super excited and positive about the whole thing (hence the “booyah”). But I didn’t write the rest until over a week later, and by then it was evident that I was never going to speak to him again and any emotions I had about it had long fizzled out. Still, I did my best to be as honest as possible and not downplay getting rejected.


About notchangingmyname

I'm a thirty-something, about-to-be-divorced, former blogger trying to navigate single life.
This entry was posted in Blog, Dating, Personal, Relationships and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to The Comedian

  1. Tony Bird says:

    This is a great post. I was already into it, but then the paragraph at the end explained why it was so great: you were writing about the feelings as you were feeling them.
    I like the idea of you with a comedian. A while back you posted that picture of you with your friend Tiffany and you were laughing in the photo. Your smile when you laugh is definitely your best smile.

  2. Interesting! You’re super brave though! At least you went and got the date! Maybe he’s waiting to read what you write.

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