I had the best OkCupid date. Too bad he lives in California.

A few weeks ago I noticed that this guy had checked out my OkCupid profile. He was really cute and tall, and his profile was funny. And he was 31. Perfect! The only problem? He lived in California. It figures, I thought to myself. I saved him to my “favorites” and didn’t give him a second thought.

Until two weeks ago, that is, when I signed on with my phone app and was notified “Cali Guy wants to meet you.” You only get this notification if you are signed on to the OkCupid Locals function, and it meant that Cali Guy was in my area! It only took a minute for me to decide to say “Let’s meet!” (which is the automatic response if you’re interested). Even though I had gotten over being rejected by the Comedian 5 days earlier, my confidence was still a bit shaken, and I needed some validation. I had already decided that I was going to make out with someone that weekend. If things went well, maybe it would be him.

So I responded “Let’s meet!” and then waited for him to start a conversation (this was on a Thursday night, btw):

Him: Hey there! What are the big plans for the night?

Me: Hey! Nothing tonight. Just getting ready for bed, actually. What’s your story? Visiting NY?

Him: Yup. Been here a couple of weeks. Heading back to SF Saturday. I’ll be around all day/night tomorrow if you wanted to get together. I think you are absolutely gorgeous btw.

Me: Thank you! Here a few weeks and you’re just messaging me now?? Lol. I do happen to be free tomorrow, so sure, let’s meet, why not.

Him: I know, I know! You popped up in the locals and that’s how I saw you. I am pretty sure I hit the “meet” you button last week too! 🙂 I am free tomorrow so yea. What/where you thinking?

Me: No you didn’t, I would have responded if you did. 🙂 Not sure about the when and where yet, but I work in midtown and tomorrow I get out around 4.

Him: Well pretty lady I’m all yours at 4.

We exchanged numbers and then I went to bed.

The next day after work I went with my coworkers to get a drink to celebrate my friend’s birthday. I only had one beer, but it was a pretty big glass, so I got a nice buzz from it. Cali Guy and I were texting back and forth figuring out where to meet, and at around 5 pm I left my friends and made my way downtown to Union Square Park to meet him.

It did not go smoothly.

While I was on the bus we had the following conversation:

Him: I better do 1000 sit up and lose some weight so I look like my pics! Kidding…or am I?

Me: Haha

Me: Are you gonna run away if I’m heavier than my pics?

Him: Yup.

Me: Yikes.

Like I said, I was feeling really insecure after the Comedian didn’t make a move on me. I knew Cali Guy was kidding, but I also happen to be about 5 pounds heavier than my profile pics. So when I got to the spot where we were supposed to meet and he stopped responding to my texts AND he didn’t answer my call, I immediately assumed that he had seen me and didn’t like what he saw. I swear I was starting to have an internal panic attack! After waiting for 10 minutes I texted him “Wtf! Don’t tell me you saw me and ran away.” FINALLY he texted me that his phone was freaking out, and he was only two seconds away. I can’t even describe how relieved I was.

I wasn’t disappointed when he showed up. He wasn’t as hot as his one ridiculously gorgeous profile pic (I’m sure the same can be said about me), but he was still pretty cute. And he was tall, 6 feet. I asked him whether he wanted to get a drink or just walk around. He said let’s get a drink, so I took him to Park Bar, which is where I had met the Comedian the week before.

The Comedian and I had sat at a table across from each other, but this time the place was PACKED. Standing room only. Cali Guy bought a round and then we squeezed our way into a tiny space that was open. We were standing pretty close to each other. There was definite, obvious chemistry.

The conversation flowed. He told me that he was an electrician, and he had been forced to take off for three weeks because his license had expired and was being renewed. So he had decided to come visit his brother in NY. He’d been in NY for two weeks and was going home the next day (wah!).

At first there had only been one stool available, which I had put my bag on so I wouldn’t have to carry it. But when the one right next to it became available we both sat down, and with a little clever maneuvering on his part somehow my legs ended up between his. I don’t really know how to describe what it looked like. Our bodies were facing each other. The stools were really close together. My feet were on the top rung of his stool, and he had one leg on the floor and the other was on the bottom rung of my stool, and my legs were in the middle. (Okay, so I DID know how to describe it lol.) It wasn’t overtly sexual or anything (not like I was straddling him or something), but you wouldn’t have to be a body language expert to see that we were digging each other.

Before we had even met he had told me that he would have to leave at 7:30 because he was going to dinner and then a comedy show with his brother. So around 7:15, after we had finished our second round (which he bought), I said “Let’s get out of here and walk around a bit.” We headed back out into the daylight and walked around Union Square park for a little while. Then we sat on a bench and alternated between making smart assed comments about the people who were walking by, and making out.

It was pretty enjoyable. He was a really good kisser. He didn’t end up leaving to meet his brother until around 8:15. He walked me to the train station and we kissed goodbye. “It’s so strange,” he said. “Just as quickly as you entered my life, now you’re leaving it.” He asked me to come meet up with him after the comedy show, and I said maybe, if I was in the city. But it didn’t happen. I took the train home, and by the time I got there I had sobered up and was ready for bed. I think I fell asleep at 9:30!

He texted me at 10:20, but I didn’t answer until after 11, when I happened to wake up.

Him: Out of comedy show in 30. Donde esta?

Me: Zzz

Me: Fell asleep pretty quickly after I came home

Him: Noooooo!

Me: Lol

Him: No! I wanted to see you again!

Me: I did too. But tonight was not meant to be. Maybe tomorrow if things aren’t too crazy for you on your last day here?

Him: 😦 maybe

We didn’t meet up the next day. Not that I actually thought we would, since his flight was at 4 in the afternoon. I DID text him late that night though, when I was out celebrating my friend’s birthday and something at the bar reminded me of something Cali Guy and I had talked about. I sent him a picture of it, and he responded, but I didn’t reply after that.

We haven’t spoken since then, although he did check out my profile a few times in the week that followed (showing my pictures to his friends, I’m sure, which is something I do as well). I thought about texting him again but decided against it. There’s no point in getting invested in something that doesn’t even have the possibility of a future. He lives in San Francisco, for Christ’s sake. I don’t think it gets any more “unavailable” than that!


About notchangingmyname

I'm a thirty-something, about-to-be-divorced, former blogger trying to navigate single life.
This entry was posted in Blog, Dating, Personal, Relationships and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to I had the best OkCupid date. Too bad he lives in California.

  1. Linus says:

    You’re cute, you can cook…and I assume you can do the important stuff good…don’t worry, you’ll find a guy. You know it always happens when you least expect it.

  2. A good date is a good date. Even if it doesn’t lead anywhere. It helps with the confidence and it’s gives you hope that it’s still possible to meet someone to have a good time with, even if it’s for a short time.

  3. Bob Othman says:

    Having a good time, that’s what it is all about. Who knows what leads to where? Enjoy the moment, which you definitely did 🙂

  4. Aurora HSP says:

    Glad you had a nice time! You are so right, who knows what the future may bring your way. Sometimes when we feel the furthest from what we want, those of us who are clear on what we want, that is, is when it shows up. Happy dating fun in the meantime. Some are just experience building, others teach us so much about ourselves… still learning, still journeying myself…with you in my thoughts 🙂

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