I’m forcing myself to go on an OkCupid date tonight

I have an OkCupid date lined up for tonight, and I do NOT want to go.

“Woody” is a 27-year-old drummer/teacher/composer. He plays jazz, writes music scores for commercials, short films, etc., and teaches music at a college. Even though I’ve told myself time and time again that I have to stop dating younger guys, his profile picture was so adorable that I couldn’t NOT respond to the message he sent me.

But he sent me that message over a MONTH ago! I’ve been talking to Woody for so long now, with NOTHING happening, that I’ve already lost interest in him!

We messaged back and forth for almost two weeks before he suggested switching to text. At that point our conversations had all been very generic, and there had been no discussion yet of meeting up. Finally one night, tired of the endless conversations that weren’t going anywhere, I said “When are we hanging out?” He replied “Mmm, we should.” As if that was an idea that hadn’t occurred to him!

That was on July 1st. Nine days later we still hadn’t made plans to meet. Granted, I was out of town for several of those days, but still, he didn’t mention anything. On July 10th, during yet another one of our not-going-anywhere conversations, I said to him “So. When’s the next time you’re in the city?”

Him: I think I’m going to be in town on Saturday – no work – just fun. I was thinking maybe a night over at Lincoln Center? You down for some live music?

I still wonder whether he would’ve said anything about going to Lincoln Center if I hadn’t brought it up, but oh well, at least we had finally made plans…

…which I ended up canceling. I’d gone out the night before and didn’t get to sleep until after 6 in the morning. I was really tired and had ZERO interest in getting ready for a date and then having to be “on” all night. So, in keeping with my new policy of full disclosure, I sent him the following text:

Me: Hey I know we never confirmed for today, but I had a really late night last night and I’m just not up for meeting someone new and all the energy that is required for that.

He was fine with it.

Him: No worries 🙂 you ridin’ the struggle bus today?
Me: haha lil bit

We didn’t speak for the rest of the weekend. On Monday he texted me hello but I didn’t reply. On Tuesday we had the following conversation:

Me: Hi Woody
Him: Hey 🙂 I was just about to message you about a little gig on thursday
Me: Oh yeah? Where at?
Him:  7:30 at (he gave me the address)
Me: Good. So thursday we’ll FINALLY meet 🙂
Him: 🙂 I’d better get practicin’ lol
Me: How long is a gig?
Him: Just an hour.
Me: K. We’ll talk tomorrow, have a good night.

Yesterday I was soooo tempted to cancel our plans again. I just didn’t feel like going through the effort that is required for a date! But I knew that if I were to cancel then that would be the end of Woody, and I’ve invested too much time not to see it through to the end. Plus, as my friend pointed out, it’s not like I have anything else going on guy-wise. So instead of canceling I just didn’t text him. As of the time that this blog entry was posted, we still haven’t spoken. But my outfit is cute and my hair looks good, so I’m “date-ready,” if that’s what I feel like doing at the end of the day. Stay tuned!


About notchangingmyname

I'm a thirty-something, about-to-be-divorced, former blogger trying to navigate single life.
This entry was posted in Blog, Dating, Personal, Relationships and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to I’m forcing myself to go on an OkCupid date tonight

  1. Jeni Johnson says:

    I hope you go, even if you don’t hit it off with him, perhaps you’ll meet someone else?

  2. The Lady Boyle says:

    I already have a feeling that there may be a good story behind this date.Hopefully this date will be worth it. You don’t want that date hair and outfit to go to waste!

  3. SillyG says:

    Totally know what you mean… I’ve had a couple I chatted with for too long that felt same way. did you go???

  4. bcann says:

    You are doing something quite mature. Even if you don’t want to date, keep in mind that it is also about expanding your horizons. You can find out a lot more about yourself through dating other people (what you like, what you don’t like). Consider it a collection to your experiences. The more experiences you have, you can understand yourself better, become more comfortable in the dating scene, and find someone for you.

    I hope this helps.

    P.S. Too bad you don’t go for younger guys. This 24 year old would ask you out (even if you would say no). Although, I do living in California (and I read your Cali) and New York isn’t for me (nor is the accent).

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