And just as quickly as it started, it’s over.
From the beginning, New Guy was unlike any other guy I’ve ever dated. He was very expressive, and it was clear that he was looking for a relationship. He seemed to really like me, and I was totally caught off guard. A seemingly nice, funny, and smart guy, who on top of that is attractive – and he wants to be with ME? That’s different.
Our first date was awesome. During the week that followed, we talked and texted every day. We were supposed to meet up for lunch that Thursday, but he couldn’t get out of work, so we just left it for Saturday.
Our second date was good too. We talked a lot that night. He told me about all his past relationships, and why they had ended. He mentioned again that he would like to be exclusive with me, but I said that I felt like I needed to get to know him more first. I did say that I wasn’t seeing anyone else and that I didn’t want to see anyone else. He said the same.
We also talked a lot about my blog. He actually read it for the first time in front of me! It was a bit awkward for me, at first, but he was really cool about it and so I eventually became more comfortable with it. After some discussion about how he felt about me putting so much of my life out there, we came to an understanding that I wasn’t going to write about him. I was fine with that.
It started to go “bad” for me during that third week. The best way for me to describe it is that for the first two weeks I let myself get caught up in a fantasy, and then in the third week I finally came back to reality.
Several things that happened over the third week that made me say to myself, “I need to slow this down.” I won’t go into all of them, but one major one was on Thursday night. I had a dentist appointment after work. We had last texted while I was in the waiting room, which was around 6pm. At 8:40, he texted me the following:
Him: World’s longest dentist appointment
Me: Nah, I’m just here in bed. Pounding headache and my whole mouth is still numb. I’m cranky. 😦 (I had gotten two fillings.)
Him: Why didn’t you hit me up? 😦 I’m sorry you feel like crap, etc etc.
The point I’m trying to illustrate with these texts, I guess, is that he was becoming very, I don’t know, needy? We had just spoken two hours ago! It’s not like we were in a long-term relationship, where constant communication is a normal thing. We were still in the getting-to-know-you stage…and the more I got to know him, the more I could see that we were not a good match.
Despite all that, I still planned to see him one more time, to see how I felt. I mean, I had liked him at one point, so who knew what would happen once I saw him again? We already had plans to hang out on Saturday, so I figured I’d give it one last shot.
But that didn’t happen. On Friday I was so turned off by something he said that I knew it was a wrap.
We hadn’t talked that much on Friday, because I was busy at work and with my new layout. He called me at 6:30, but I was walking down Fifth Avenue towards the bus stop, so I didn’t answer. Instead, I texted him when I got on the bus.
Me: Hey what’s up…on my way to a birthday party right now. How you feeling?
Him: I called you twice.
Me: Yeah I just heard your voicemail.
Him: You never pick up.
Me: I was walking down fifth ave!
Me: So how are you feeling?
Him: So so
Him: So you’re going to a party.
Him: Hmm let me find out you’re a party girl. (I had been out late on Wednesday night as well.)
Me: Well it’s drinks for a girl’s birthday. But I do like to go out.
Him: Party girl
Him: Whose birthday is it?
Him: Well have fun ttyl (This was after like 5 minutes)
Me: I don’t like the sound of that “hmmm.” But we’ll talk later. It’s this girl I met through a high school friend. I’ll ttyl.
Him: It wasn’t meant to sound good.
I was soooo annoyed at this point. How the hell did I find myself in the position of having to justify shit to some guy who I only met three weeks ago?? And who the hell is he to question me about how often I go out?? I’ll go out when I want, and with who I want, and I don’t need to explain it to anyone! I’m not looking for anyone’s approval OR disapproval. Keep that shit to yourself, thank you very much.
I ended up having a great night that night. In your face, New Guy! Haha.
When I woke up the next morning I knew that I was going to have to end it. It seemed that New Guy was on his way to becoming a possessive and needy boyfriend. NOT what I’m looking for. In retrospect, the fact that he was trying to wife me up before we had even met should have been a warning. That and many, many other little things that I had either glossed over or just completely ignored when I was all wrapped up in how nice it was to have someone paying such an inordinate amount of attention to me.
On Saturday morning around 10:30 I texted him the following:
Hey…this isn’t gonna work. I was already feeling like things were moving too fast, and after yesterday’s last few texts I can see that we’re not right for each other. Sorry to say it over text but you know I’m awkward as hell over the phone.
I felt bad for doing it over text, but since the majority of our relationship took place over text, it wasn’t totally out of line.
When I got out of the shower at noon, I had the following 12 texts messages (all sent back to back):
Wow umm ok
After yesterday’s text we’re not right for each other lol
Cause I was busting your chops about being a party girl
Well you take care, it was nice knowing you
And here I thought you were a cool girl
We were getting along
I joke around and you take it to heart
I don’t care if you party or go out. I’m not the jealous type or possessive
Either way I wish you the best. Take care of yourself.
And please don’t contact me ever again.
I felt bad after reading his texts. For a while I questioned whether I had made a mistake. But I didn’t believe him for one second when he said that he was “joking” about the party girl stuff. He texted me again around 5 pm, saying “And here I thought we would have had a future.” I almost responded, because I felt like maybe I owed him some type of explanation. But I didn’t, because I couldn’t really see what good could come from it. Besides, he’ll find out when he reads this blog post.
And there you have it folks. Another one for the books.