I’m debating whether to go back on OkCupid

I’ve been thinking about whether there is any point in going back on OkCupid. And the answer is: NO! For one thing, I think I’ve looked at just about every single profile on there. No matter where I am, work or home, it’s always the same people showing up in my locals and in my matches. Which makes sense, of course, but still, I’m tired of seeing the same faces.

Also, I came to a realization the other day. The past few months have been pretty amazing. I’ve been going to museums, taking salsa lessons, and going to dinners and bars and dancing with friends every single weekend. It’s been so much fun, and I feel really lucky that I am fulfilled on so many levels.

But you know what else I realized? When I reflected on all of the negative parts of the past few months, they all had to do with guys! ALL of them. This active search for a man that I’ve been engaged in recently, other than providing LOTS of great blog material, has been a total waste of time and has gotten me nowhere. Which is why I’m none too eager to get wrapped up in it again.

Plus, I’ve said it over and over and over, I’m really just not cut out for the forced, interview-style dating that comes with online dating. I need something more organic.

The ONLY reason why I might find myself back on OkCupid is that sometimes I get bored, and the OkCupid phone app is good for at least 15 minutes of distraction a day.

Between birthdays, going on vacation, and plans to get even more involved in the salsa scene, I’ve got a lot on my plate for the next few months. I’m not going to go so far as to say “I don’t have time for a man,” but that’s kind of how I feel at the moment. Of course, that could change on a moment’s notice. We’ll see what happens.


About notchangingmyname

I'm a thirty-something, about-to-be-divorced, former blogger trying to navigate single life.
This entry was posted in Blog, Dating, Life, Personal, Relationships and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

20 Responses to I’m debating whether to go back on OkCupid

  1. benja1974 says:

    Just be happy with yourself… enjoy your life and love will come… 🙂 (at least I think)

  2. It’s great that you’ve been able to focus on your outside interests and passions, in addition to dating. I say keep your OKCupid profile active (there’s no cost involved). That doesn’t mean you have to browse the site for potential mates every day, but you never know what may pop up in your inbox.

    – K.

  3. Linus says:

    Cheers to you! You don’t need a man, all that will lead to is marriage…and we all know marriage is nothing more than a forced union between two people who after years of being together can no longer stand the sight of each other but fail to do anything about it because all that will lead to is subjecting the kids to holiday’s at multiple locations not to mention their general loathing of you for subjecting them to multiple holidays…sorry, I got off on a tangent there.

    Good for you hun…you should do whatever makes you the happiest. Although I do agree that you got some good blog material.

    • You make many excellent points! Hahaha too funny…

      I know, I got some really good stories from OkCupid, that’s for sure! I’m slightly worried about the potential lack of blog material, to be honest, but I’m sure I’ll come up with something.

  4. Tony Bird says:

    It’s funny how in a city with 8.2 million people you can exhaust your circles like that. 🙂 I guess it’s a smaller community in the online dating world, though.

  5. Good for you! Congrats on the decision and the change. Maybe through all the new activites you are immersing yourself in, you’ll find a man!

  6. I also realized that after sending that comment it’s not meant to be “you’ll find a man because everyone needs someone” but more like…if you want someone then maybe you’ll find someone that is willing to experience all the fun things you’re into

    • Haha I knew what you meant! In the back of my mind I also think the same thing, that maybe I’ll meet someone one night when I’m out dancing salsa and it’ll be better because we’ll have something in common right off the bat.

  7. Jeni Johnson says:

    Just leaving everything up for a natural chance, the old school ways… Nice change! Enjoy being you and not the you looking for a guy you. 🙂 You beautiful woman!

  8. Seducto says:

    Great post! I am thinking about quitting my online dating presence, but might just hang in there a little longer.

  9. The best thing about having organic romance is you know it’s real:)

  10. Matt79 says:

    I’ll admit it: when I’m reading a (partly at least) dating blog and the blogger swears off online dating, I can feel disappointed – but in your case I think you’ve made some really good points about why it’s not for you. I hope you have a great time with all your other activities, whether a guy materialises out of them or not!

  11. Well that’s just how I was feeling at the moment, who knows what’ll happen in the future. I’m already “this close” to re-installing the okcupid app back on my phone!

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