Last week I was sitting out back smoking a cigarette (no judgment please – besides, I haven’t had one since Friday and I think I’m back on the wagon now), and I needed something to focus on for the next five minutes. I went through my “top-tier” phone apps – Facebook and Instagram – in about 15 seconds. Then I went through my second tier apps – WordPress, Twitter, and Bloglovin – in about 30 seconds. Then I even checked my Monster, Draw Something and Period Tracker apps!
Nothing was happening on any of them, and I still had more than half a cigarette to smoke. So I said “Fuck it” and clicked on my OkCupid app. I had to confirm that I wanted to reactivate my account, and then I was back in. And just like I thought, it was exactly the same guys as before. Which makes sense, duh, because I only quit a month ago. I didn’t stay on for long, just a minute or two while I finished smoking.
I’ve gone on several times over the past week and have gotten some messages, but I really don’t have any desire to engage with anyone new. There was one guy who messaged me who is kind of cute, and when I showed his pictures to Di she said I should definitely reply. I might, eventually, but at the moment I have ZERO interest.