Does the fact that I keep cans of ginger ale in my fridge solely for when I have a hangover mean that I have a drinking problem? Does the fact that I was happy (elated, actually) that I threw up from drinking on Sunday – because I wasn’t “stuck” with all of the calories from my 5 am meal of roast pork shoulder leftovers – mean that I have an eating disorder?
Those questions crossed my mind on Sunday morning as I was curled up on my couch with a hangover. I had a great weekend though. On Saturday we met up with B and then took him to my favorite spot in NYC, where I ended up making out with not one but two guys. Sigh, I keep it classy.
The first guy was this guy from London who was in NY for work. He was by himself at the bar where we met up with B, and later on when we headed to my favorite bar, he came with us. He was really cute, but when I ended up making out with him I wasn’t turned on at all! Just like with HBG, I found myself going through the motions.
The second guy, well that is another story. I’ll save it for another day, because it’s a long story and I don’t have time to write it right now. I will simply say that I am guardedly hopeful right now.
But to answer those questions from the first paragraph, No! I don’t have a drinking problem. I just like to be prepared. If I were going through a 12-pack of ginger ale every weekend, then I would say that I might have a problem. But it’s not a big deal to keep them there for “emergency purposes.”
And I don’t have an eating disorder either. Hardly. I don’t make myself puke and I don’t starve myself either. I may have body issues, but eating is not a problem. The problem is STOPPING myself from eating!