Bye bye Bouncer…? Another one bites the dust.

The Bouncer has pulled a disappearing act. It’s been a week since I’ve heard from him, and I am confused and hurt. Not the best way to start off 2013.

Since my last post about him, I’d seen the Bouncer like three or four more times and spoken on the phone with him a few times. When I saw him it was because I went to the bar, and when he called me it was from a payphone, because he still hadn’t gotten his phone reconnected. Clearly it wasn’t an ideal situation. But I had a lot of fun when we were together, and sexual chemistry aside – which was intense – I thought we had a good vibe going and it seemed like he felt the same.

Which is why I still can’t understand why this motherf*cker hasn’t called me. Did I completely misread the situation? Or was he just lying to me? Probably a bit of both, but I’ll never know unless he calls me again, which I don’t see happening. I’m definitely NOT going back to my favorite bar in all of NYC ever again. Oh well, I had a good run there.

The last time I saw him was last Saturday night, before Christmas. I had a great time with him. He called me on Sunday night, but I didn’t hear the phone ringing and so I missed his call. He called me again on Wednesday, the day after Christmas, at around 5pm. We spoke for maybe 15 minutes, and he said he’d call me later so we could make plans for the next day.

That was the night of the dogfight. He DID call me that night, at around midnight. At that point, my mom and I had just reintroduced the dogs and decided I should go to the hospital. But when he called, I answered, because it’s not like I could just call him back later, like a normal person.

He started off by saying: “You see how much I like you, I’m actually standing outside on a payphone in the middle of a snowstorm just so I can talk to you!” I laughed and said “Haha, well I’ve got you beat, because I just broke up a dogfight and I’m standing here dripping blood about to go to the hospital and I still answered your call!” We spoke for maybe two minutes. I was still a little delirious from the fight. He told me he would be in the city the next day running an errand, and he would call me around three.

I haven’t heard from him since.

It is so frustrating. Clearly it’s over, whatever “it” was. Even if he were to call me at this point, which like I said before I don’t think is going to happen, I need to have some type of pride and not overlook his offenses against me, which I tally at three:

  1. He hasn’t called me in a week.
  2. He knew I went to the hospital and didn’t call me to see how I was.
  3. He didn’t call to say Happy New Year.

There really isn’t any excuse that’s good enough to make up for all three of those things, except that maybe he lost my number – which would be a valid excuse if he hadn’t already lost my number once before! Yes, he’s hot. And the fact that he is older than me and I still found him attractive was a really big deal for me. But clearly he isn’t interested the way I am, so even if he does call, there’s no point in me wasting my time, because I’ll never get what I’m looking for.


Sigh. Yes, I know that’s right. It’s just hard to digest, because it leaves me with the typical depressed thoughts like “What’s wrong with me??”. On paper I was clearly too good for him, and yet for some reason HE doesn’t want to be with ME. WTF?!

On to the next. Womp womp. 😦


About notchangingmyname

I'm a thirty-something, about-to-be-divorced, former blogger trying to navigate single life.
This entry was posted in Blog, Dating, Entertainment/Nightlife, Life, Love, Nightlife, Personal, Relationships, Writing and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to Bye bye Bouncer…? Another one bites the dust.

  1. theoxherd says:

    I’m sorry, my dear…he clearly lives with someone…pay phone? Not coming to the hospital to hold your other hand? Wanker!

  2. MayDay says:

    Despite the chemistry.. It would have been a bitch to deal with his legal troubles and money issues anyways if it had turned into something more serious. Maybe it’s all for the best. Fresh start for 2013!

    • Girl you are so right. I mean, I definitely would have dealt with it (and then I would have been the one who stood by him at his lowest point – omg I am so pathetic for even having that thought), but who needs the drama, right? Right.

  3. Tony Bird says:

    This might catch you by surprise, but good looking men can sometimes suffer from insecurity, too. He’s probably just nervous to call or thinks that you’re too good to be interested. Maybe some holiday blues in there, too. (I like to give people the benefit of the doubt.)

    • Nice try, but I was clearly interested – hence me going back to the bar countless time. Of course I thought of all those things you said as a way to excuse his not calling me, but in this circumstance I need to face reality! I was definitely giving him the benefit of the doubt. Or maybe I wasn’t – I SHOULD have been more doubting than I was. Ugh, I don’t know. This sounds like the topic of another post.

  4. emarie24 says:

    Dick. Even though I was the same way with Magnum. The guy’s a loser and I still wanted to date him (okay, he DID have a nice body and a nice penis, but we couldn’t even make sex last with his whiskey dick!).

  5. Linus says:

    He’s a bouncer…no big loss here. Not to diminish your stunning good looks here…but he could have just been in to you until the next smokeshow walked into the bar…

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