There are two things that have been occupying way too much of my time lately: Candy Crush and thinking about my wedding.
No, Dave hasn’t proposed. Yet. But we’ve talked about our wedding at length – where it would be, when, how many people, what type of venue, etc. Right now it looks like we’re getting married in New Orleans in April 2015, but that could change at any moment.
In a perfect world, I would move down there in May 2014 and we wouldn’t get married until late 2015 or early 2016. That would give me time to enjoy being with Dave without any wedding-planning stress, and also to save up some money, because as I’m starting to learn, weddings are fucking expensive!
But this is not a perfect world. No, in this world I am turning 35 in two months (wtf!). I know it’s silly to try to do things like this on a timetable, but I’d like to get married while I’m 36 and get pregnant by the time I’m 37. This way I won’t be too old if I decide I want to have a second kid.
But even as I’m typing this, I’m thinking that my timetable may be a little unrealistic. There are so many things that need to happen between now and the point when I get pregnant, like getting divorced, moving down there, settling in and maybe having to look for a new job. On top of that I’m going to start planning a wedding? Just thinking about it stresses me out.
Well, regardless, at some point in the future, Dave and I will be getting married. Until recently, I have NEVER had ANY interest in ANYTHING wedding-related. None whatsoever. Whenever the topic of wedding dresses, rings, etc., would come up at lunch with the girls (my besties happen to be my coworkers, so we eat together every day), I would roll my eyes, think “borrrring,” and tune them out. Sorry ladies.
But now I have completely submersed myself in everything wedding-related. Dresses, rings, flowers, venues – all stuff that I need to learn about if I actually want to have a real wedding.
It first started in October, with me just looking at engagement rings after a conversation Dave and I had about getting married. I didn’t like the engagement ring my ex gave me (it was a marquise cut and was always getting caught on things), so I figured that when the time came and Dave and I seriously started talking about getting engaged, I’d know what I want and would be able to tell him.
A few days after that conversation, we were talking and I asked him what he had been up to that day, and he said “blah blah blah and I was looking at engagement rings online.” I was like “Oh really?? It’s funny you should say that, because I’ve been looking at engagement rings too!” We talked about which ones I liked, I sent him pictures, he sent some back.
The verdict? I still have no clue which kind I’d actually want. I need to try some on. But I’m leaning towards a halo or a solitaire:
After that I started thinking about the actual wedding. I REALLY hate to be the center of attention, so at first the thought of having a big party with all those people focusing on me made me a little…nauseous, to be honest. But after spending some time thinking about it, I started to get more comfortable with it and even began to like the idea of having all my family and friends there to witness me marrying the man that I love. (I know it’s corny! But it’s how I feel.)
So now I want a real wedding. We both made lists of who we would invite. Right now mine is at 64 people and his is around 60. But his was a rough draft, and he still needs to talk to his mom about who he needs to invite in his extended family.
So let’s say the total guestlist is 150. That’s a lot of people…and a lot of money! I really hate the thought of spending so much money on just one day. But on the other hand, I didn’t have a real wedding the first time (got married in Vegas), so I definitely want to have this experience.
Once I decided I wanted a real wedding, I started thinking about the dress. Over the past month, I have literally watched 6 seasons of “Say Yes to the Dress” back to back (two more to go). I downloaded The Knot lookbook app and have spent many hours looking at dresses. But that brings up a whole host of other dilemmas: What style of dress? What color? How much should I spend?
Then there’s the bridal party – who should I ask? And the music – band, DJ, or iPod? And the flowers – is there any way to minimize this excessive wedding cost? And on and on and on.
But even though thinking about this wedding has me incredibly overwhelmed, I am also incredibly happy. I never thought that I would get married again. After all my crappy dates these past few years, I’d almost gotten to the point where I didn’t think I’d ever be in another long-term relationship! So it’s kind of surreal for me to be feeling so positive and excited about my love life and future.
Okay, enough about this for now. Time for some more “Say Yes to the Dress.”