2014 is going to be a big year for me

Happy New Year!

Over the holidays I came to a decision regarding my move to New Orleans. Originally I figured I would move out of my apartment during April and stay with my mom and her boyfriend until I leave for New Orleans, which I’m hoping will be in early May.

But after talking about it with my mom, I’ve decided to move in with her at the end of February. I’m really excited about it, for several reasons. One, I’ll be saving three months’ rent. Two, it’ll give me that much more time to spend with my family before I move away. And three, it’ll force me to go through my things and get rid of anything I don’t plan to take with me.

Which is pretty much everything except for clothes and shoes. For awhile I was considering getting one of those U-Haul pods and moving all of my stuff down in that. But I redid the numbers a few weeks ago, and a pod would end up costing me $1,700. All of my possessions in my apartment don’t even add up to that! (Which is sad, but that’s what happens when you walk away from a failed marriage with nothing, right?) The only things worth anything are my tv, tv stand, and this…I don’t know what it’s called, like a decorative dresser thing that I have in the living room, and those only cost me a total of $1,200. Oh, I DID pay a lot for my mattress, but Dave has a good one so I’m just going to give mine to my mom, along with the rest of the good stuff.

I do have some kitchen stuff I’d like to keep that Dave doesn’t have, like my ice cream maker and my salad spinner, but it might be cheaper to just buy new ones when I’m down there. I need to look into how much it costs to ship things.

So yeah, I’m really excited. It’s making the move to New Orleans seem much more real – and like it’s happening really really soon! My mom picked up a few boxes for me, so this weekend I’m going to start packing.  🙂

Posted in Blog, Dating, Divorce, Life, Love, Marriage, Personal, Relationships, Writing | Tagged , | 4 Comments

I’ve got wedding fever

There are two things that have been occupying way too much of my time lately: Candy Crush and thinking about my wedding.

No, Dave hasn’t proposed. Yet. But we’ve talked about our wedding at length – where it would be, when, how many people, what type of venue, etc.  Right now it looks like we’re getting married in New Orleans in April 2015, but that could change at any moment.

In a perfect world, I would move down there in May 2014 and we wouldn’t get married until late 2015 or early 2016. That would give me time to enjoy being with Dave without any wedding-planning stress, and also to save up some money, because as I’m starting to learn, weddings are fucking expensive!

But this is not a perfect world. No, in this world I am turning 35 in two months (wtf!). I know it’s silly to try to do things like this on a timetable, but I’d like to get married while I’m 36 and get pregnant by the time I’m 37. This way I won’t be too old if I decide I want to have a second kid.

But even as I’m typing this, I’m thinking that my timetable may be a little unrealistic. There are so many things that need to happen between now and the point when I get pregnant, like getting divorced, moving down there, settling in and maybe having to look for a new job. On top of that I’m going to start planning a wedding? Just thinking about it stresses me out.

Well, regardless, at some point in the future, Dave and I will be getting married. Until recently, I have NEVER had ANY interest in ANYTHING wedding-related. None whatsoever. Whenever the topic of wedding dresses, rings, etc., would come up at lunch with the girls (my besties happen to be my coworkers, so we eat together every day), I would roll my eyes, think “borrrring,” and tune them out. Sorry ladies.

But now I have completely submersed myself in everything wedding-related. Dresses, rings, flowers, venues – all stuff that I need to learn about if I actually want to have a real wedding.

It first started in October, with me just looking at engagement rings after a conversation Dave and I had about getting married. I didn’t like the engagement ring my ex gave me (it was a marquise cut and was always getting caught on things), so I figured that when the time came and Dave and I seriously started talking about getting engaged, I’d know what I want and would be able to tell him.

A few days after that conversation, we were talking and I asked him what he had been up to that day, and he said “blah blah blah and I was looking at engagement rings online.” I was like “Oh really?? It’s funny you should say that, because I’ve been looking at engagement rings too!” We talked about which ones I liked, I sent him pictures, he sent some back.

The verdict? I still have no clue which kind I’d actually want. I need to try some on. But I’m leaning towards a halo or a solitaire:

halo solitaireAfter that I started thinking about the actual wedding. I REALLY hate to be the center of attention, so at first the thought of having a big party with all those people focusing on me made me a little…nauseous, to be honest. But after spending some time thinking about it, I started to get more comfortable with it and even began to like the idea of having all my family and friends there to witness me marrying the man that I love. (I know it’s corny! But it’s how I feel.)

So now I want a real wedding. We both made lists of who we would invite. Right now mine is at 64 people and his is around 60. But his was a rough draft, and he still needs to talk to his mom about who he needs to invite in his extended family.

So let’s say the total guestlist is 150. That’s a lot of people…and a lot of money! I really hate the thought of spending so much money on just one day. But on the other hand, I didn’t have a real wedding the first time (got married in Vegas), so I definitely want to have this experience.

Once I decided I wanted a real wedding, I started thinking about the dress. Over the past month, I have literally watched 6 seasons of “Say Yes to the Dress” back to back (two more to go). I downloaded The Knot lookbook app and have spent many hours looking at dresses. But that brings up a whole host of other dilemmas: What style of dress? What color? How much should I spend?

Then there’s the bridal party – who should I ask? And the music – band, DJ, or iPod? And the flowers – is there any way to minimize this excessive wedding cost? And on and on and on.

But even though thinking about this wedding has me incredibly overwhelmed, I am also incredibly happy. I never thought that I would get married again. After all my crappy dates these past few years, I’d almost gotten to the point where I didn’t think I’d ever be in another long-term relationship! So it’s kind of surreal for me to be feeling so positive and excited about my love life and future.

Okay, enough about this for now. Time for some more “Say Yes to the Dress.”

Posted in Blog, Dating, Divorce, Life, Love, Marriage, Personal, Relationships, Uncategorized, Weddings, Writing | Tagged , | 8 Comments

Worst dream ever!

Last night I dreamed that Dave cheated on me…with my mom! Blech! Fortunately I didn’t walk in on them or anything. I think I caught them because of their texts. What really sucked – besides the betrayal, obviously – was that I had JUST told my boss that I was moving to New Orleans, which left me with the embarrassing task of saying “Nah, never mind.”

I think the mom part of my dream was because of this episode of “Say Yes to the Dress” I was watching right before bed (that’s all I watch these days, since I discovered the entire series is on Netflix). In the episode, a mom and a cousin were being soooooo mean to a girl who was looking for a dress. She had recently gained about 20 pounds, and they would not shut up about how fat she was. They kept going on and on and on about her weight and how bad she looked, or even worse, when she would come out in a dress they would just burst out laughing. Bitches!

You can watch the full episode on YouTube. It’s ridiculous. As I was laying in bed, I couldn’t help but wonder what life would be like when you have a mother who is so unsupportive and undermining. So that’s where that part of the dream came from. The good thing is that it wasn’t actually MY mother who was playing the role of my mom in the dream, it was some other woman. So at least I don’t have THAT visual stuck in my head.

The part about me telling my boss that I’m moving to New Orleans? Well, that is something I think about on a daily basis. Have I mentioned that I’m officially moving to New Orleans? I think I did, in a post awhile back. The plan is for me to move down there in May, once the busy season at work is over. This will give me time to save a bit of money from overtime and wrap up all my loose ends – meaning, I need to get a divorce!

I’m waiting until April, the end of our busy season, to tell my boss and the big boss. I’m hoping that they’ll continue to let me work for the company from New Orleans. I mean, 95% of my work is done over the computer, so it’s technically feasible. But I don’t know if they’ll go for it. Fingers crossed!

So yeah, I don’t have to tell you how relieved I was when I woke up this morning and realized that Dave hadn’t cheated on me with my mother! It took me a minute to realize the whole thing had been a dream nightmare. I swear, I have never been so happy to wake up in my entire life.

Posted in Blog, Cheating, Dating, Dreams, Life, Love, Personal, Relationships, Sex, Uncategorized, Writing | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments

What a difference a year (and having a boyfriend) makes

Around this time last year, I was on vacation in Europe with my friend Di. On that 9-day trip, we went out every single night. In fact, we planned our trip around going out – we wanted to be in Paris on Friday night and Amsterdam on Saturday night so we could enjoy the weekend nightlife in each of those cities.

One of my goals for that trip was to make out with a different guy in each of the four cities we visited (classy, I know. Lol.). I only managed two – Amsterdam and Paris. Oh well, at least I gave a good effort. 🙂 But even on the days where we didn’t party hard, we still went out every night for dinner and a drink and tried to find something to do.

But that was then.

Now, I’m just about finished with my vacation in Australia. In fact, I’m on my way to Sydney airport now, and in 24 hours (ugh, not looking forward to the flight) I will be back home.

This vacation was soooo different than last year’s euro trip, it’s crazy. Out of my three weeks in Australia, we partied a total of…once. Once! And that was over two weeks ago! The rest of the trip, I swear we were in bed by like 11 pm every night. And on the nights when we forced ourselves to go out and have a drink, we were drinking…cider. (Pear cider is my new favorite thing, btw.)

One reason we didn’t go out is because we were plain old tired. We did a LOT of “adventure” shit on this trip – scuba diving, boat tours, walking through rain forests, etc. And on the days when we didn’t have any activities planned, we did a LOT of walking around (my feet literally have blisters). So by the end of the each day, we were usually exhausted.

But I have to say that the main reason – the REAL reason – we didn’t do any partying is that now, as opposed to last year, we both have boyfriends.

I never gone on a vacation by myself while I’ve been in a relationship. Most of my traveling has been done over the past few years since I split with my ex, and I’ve always gone in “single-gal” mode, looking to party, drink and – obviously – meet guys.

But now I have Dave, who I’ve been talking and Skyping with every day. I have a totally different mindset than I did last year, and it’s kinda weird for me! I have ZERO desire to go out to a bar or a club and stand around having a drink. It’s like, what’s the point? I’m just gonna stand there talking to Di anyway, so we might as well stay home.

Which is not the best attitude to have, I know. I don’t want to be “that girl” who suddenly becomes really lame when she gets a boyfriend. But I can’t help it if I don’t want go out, right?

Anyway, I’ll post some pics from my trip in a few days.

Posted in Australia, Blog, Dating, Divorce, Life, Love, Personal, Relationships, Travel, Writing | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments

Sorry to be boring, but…

Dave is coming tonight! I’m very excited. He’ll be here til next week. The only thing left for me to do before he gets here is clean my bathroom.

I am in the middle of writing the story of what happened with Pic-stitcher, but it’s taking awhile because I’ve been really busy at work. I will do my best to get it up next week.



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